October 7, 2008 -- MADONNA better not take her act to Alaska. At one point during the US kickoff of her "Sticky and Sweet" tour at the Meadowlands Saturday night, the Material Mom indulged her Republican-hating ways, shouting, "Sarah Palin can't come to my party. Sarah Palin can't come to my show. It's nothing personal." Then the kabbalah queen told the crowd, "Here's the sound of Sarah Palin's husband's snowmobile when it won't start," followed by a loud screeching noise.
Madge, I can't believe you. It pains me so to have to include you on this list, but what you have done is....is.....reprehensible. Like, Oprah, you are un-inviting Sarah before she even asked to come. Are you jealous, Madge? Jealous that she's younger, prettier and more relevant than you? That she has five children BY THE SAME MAN? That The Todd is cuter than whatshisname? Ashamed to be from Michigan rather than the great state of Alaska? Frustrated that hunting is cooler than yoga? Baffled that Sarah does sexy better than you? That she partied to your songs in college?
Help me understand your misery because I want to make you better.
Trust me when I say this hurts me more than you.