No shit: Palin GETS IT

(blurred facts that show Sarah totally gets it)

What I've know for WEEKS now, statistics finally back up. A very credible Fox News poll shows that the American People believe that Sarah Palin "gets it". They were asked, "Which of the candidates -- including all four presidential and vice presidential aspirants -- "best understand the problems of every day life in America?"

In fact:
"Even 14 percent of Democrats said Palin's the one who best understands everyday problems, and she leads on this score among independents, who split 35 percent for Palin, 22 percent for Obama, 20 percent for McCain and 8 percent for Biden."

Matt Damon questions Sarah's authority and readiness to lead

How dare he. Matt Fucking Damon questions the awesome awesomeness that is SP. Excuse me, Mr. Damon, while you're busy playing people who create change, Sarah's actually you know...doing it.

Sayeth Damon:

"It's like a really bad Disney movie. You know? The hockey mom, 'Oh I'm just a hockey mom from Alaska,' and she's the PRESIDENT, and it's like she's facing down Vladamir Putin and using the folksy stuff she learned at the hockey rink. It's absurd, it's totally absurd, and I don't understand why more people aren't talking about how absurd it is. It's a terrifying possibility. The fact that we've gotten this far and we're that close to this being a reality is crazy.

I need to know if she really think that dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. I want to know that, I really do. Because she's gonna have the nuclear codes."

I smell fear. He's afriad of the God-inspired change that is about to rock this country. That change is called Sarah Palin. If she did meet with Mr. Putin, she would match him wit for with and then they would fight in a cage match, with Sarah kicking him in the kidney winning the match. If that's not the sort of diplomacy we need in these times, then I don't know what is. Thank you, Mr. Damon for embarassing liberals yet again with your assinine comments.

I'm not alone!

There is another Palinite over at Newsweek. Read on as she speaks to the awesome awesomeness that is Sarah Heath Palin. Please, send her encouraging words as she battles with her obssession.

Confessions of a Secret Sarah Admirer
by Kathleen Deveny
Maybe I'm a sucker for a frontier myth, the narrative of a person who rises up in a frozen, faraway place by making her own rules.
Published Sep 6, 2008
From the magazine issue dated Sep 15, 2008

I have a dirty little secret.

I really like Sarah Palin. It's kind of embarrassing, because I was a strong supporter of Hillary Clinton and because I live in a liberal bubble in Brooklyn, N.Y. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but the more my friends and media colleagues attack Palin for being a lightweight or a hick or a lunatic, the more I like her.

I liked her the first time I saw a picture of her, nearly a year ago in this magazine. It illustrated a story about how women leaders like Palin and Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano were gaining power at the state level. Palin, BlackBerry in one hand, Red Bull in the other, checked her messages as she crossed the street, seemingly oblivious to her youngest daughter, Piper, who trailed along behind her, jumping rope in the crosswalk. Now that's my kind of working mom, I thought.

I liked her even more after her speech at the Republican convention, and not just because she gave a masterful performance. I am riveted by her family and struck by what appears to be her complete confidence in the choices she's made. Women both liberal and conservative may be locked in combat about whether she went back to work too soon after Trig's birth or whether she should be making a run for national office when her teenage daughter is pregnant. But if Palin is agonizing about her decisions, it doesn't show.

Which does not mean that I would do what she did—or that I will vote for the McCain-Palin ticket, because like many former Hillary supporters, I would not step over Roe v. Wade to vote for anyone. I took a six-month maternity leave and I doubt I would run for national office if my daughter were pregnant. But as I watched Palin and her family on that stage, the way she embraced daughter Bristol and called Trig a perfectly beautiful boy, I liked what I saw. I found her lack of defensiveness admirable. And if I were nominated for the vice presidency, I would probably let my kids stay up way past their bedtimes, too.

I am aware that I am responding to carefully crafted political images. I actually know very little about Sarah Palin's ideology, and what I do know I don't like: the extreme anti-abortion stand, her belief that creationism should be taught in schools alongside evolution. In the next eight weeks any number of things could emerge that will turn me off completely.

But I can't help myself. I'd rather crack open a Red Bull and sit down with her than with Barack Obama. Likability counts in electoral politics—especially for voters who are on the fence. It worked for George W. I love the fact that she rose from the PTA to the governor's office as a self-described challenger to the boys' club. When I Googled "Palin and bitch," I expected to find an outpouring of misogyny to back up the idea that much of the criticism of her is sexist. Instead, I found dozens of references to a video called "Is McCain Palin's Bitch?" Her convention speech was ruthless, and she managed to beat Obama up without sounding shrill.

Maybe I am a sucker for a frontier myth, the narrative of a person who rises up in a frozen, faraway place by making her own rules. I don't meet many moose hunters in New York. She reminds me of the scrappy, snowmobile-riding people I knew when I was growing up in Minnesota. Palin even sounds like them, with her healthy respect for vowels. I love that her sister runs a service station. When I hear people say that she's "too state fair," it activates a vestigial chip on my shoulder. In the Ivy-choked, East Coast media establishment, I also have an unusual résumé: University of Minnesota, the five-year plan.

Then there are those guns. She has been likened to Annie Oakley, but she seems like a thoroughly modern ass-kicker, more Angelina Jolie as "Mrs. Smith," or Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor—just with a little more meat on her bones. Even the investigation into her alleged abuse of power as governor seems to raise her street cred. I mean, didn't her ex-brother-in-law Taser his 10-year-old stepson? Somehow I'm willing to forgive Palin for allegedly trying to have him fired. I think she may represent a new American archetype: the political bad girl. History books are full of charming rogues like Bill Clinton, Edwin Edwards and Huey Long—men who were so charismatic that audiences seemed to forgive them their trespasses.

But if I'm really honest with myself, I'm mostly just happy that there's another woman on the national political stage. I think it's good for my 8-year-old daughter, who has called Hillary Clinton her idol. She doesn't love Hillary because of her health-care policy or pro-choice stance: she loves Hillary because she thinks girls rule. The more powerful women there are on the national stage, the better it is for all women, because this is a game of numbers. When John Edwards destroys his political career by cheating on his wife, I don't believe people wring their hands about what it's going to mean for white guys. And when there are enough women in our political life, maybe we will be able to judge them as individuals, rather than representatives of all things uterine. Either way, I think we're going to have to get used to Sarah Palin. Because she might be the one to crash through that "highest, hardest glass ceiling," and not just because she has a gun.

18 Million Cracks and a couple good quips

When she was born to the world several weeks ago, SP remarked that she was adding to the 18 million cracks in the proverbial glass ceiling that Hillary Clinton made during the Democratic primaries. Of course, many haters out there didn't appreciate SP co-opting Hill's words knowing that she is the political polar opposite of the Senator. It led many to think, "What the hell does the lady Clinton think about all this?" and it led some more people to speculate how long it would take Bill to hit on SP at a bipartisan function.

Hillary barely released a statement about SP, instead choosing to ignore that she even exists. I am taken aback at the lack of awe and deference she shows Sarah. I decided to track down Hillary and chat with her about the goings-on of this race. Over a piping hot green tea latte and lemon biscotti, I created a safe space for Hillary to share her true feelings.

Me: How are you doing, really?
H: I'm doing well. I'm tired - this campaign has taken a lot out of me, but I want to show Democrats that this election is ours to win and --
Me: You don't have to say that for me.
H: (sits back) I'm tired as hell. I'm disappointed and Bill is fucking annoying.
Me: I can see that. He's a tad full of himself.
H: Tell me about it. At first, you think it's charming, but after all these years it just grinds my gears.
Me: So. Sarah. Why are you ignoring her?
H: She's not worth it. This campaign isn't about her. It's about the issues.
Me: (laughing) Senator, really: why are you ignoring the awesomeness that is Sarah Palin? The Saracuda? The Hottest VP from the Coldest State? The new poster child for parents of Down Syndrome children?
H: (blinks) Governor Palin--
Me: It's pronounced "pay-lynn"
H: (sighs) Governor Palin should be commended for her accomplishments inside and outside the home. As a working mother and politician, I understand the enormous amount of pressure she must be experiencing.
Me: Isn't she great at balancing the kids, the state, the campaign, the husband and the vicious media and the lying liars that run it? And the sexism! I don't know if you can imagine what she's been through these past several weeks.
H: Are you serious? Are you fucking kidding me right now?
Me: Um...no?
H: She has the audacity to take my line, my great line about cracks in the glass ceiling and use it to cosign MY supporters...the women who worked hard for me and my campaign. That was a low blow for me and feminism.
Me: I smell hater...
H: 18 million cracks! What a hoot. The only crack she knows about is the one that splits her ass and the rest that she's snorting that's making her think she has a chance in hell of being Vice President of the United States.
Me: You take that back.
H: I will not.
Me: Do you want the rest of your scone?
H: No, but you can't have it.
Me: See, Sarah wouldn't do something like that. Are you mad because while you were wasting time in law school, she was dating her high school sweetheart and winning beauty pageants?
H: I was arguing cases while she was trying to pass home ec. I refuse to engage in an argument about her merits versus mine; there is just no comparison. Yes, she is pretty. Yes, she is in great shape. Do I find her interest in hunting and sports slightly erotic? Yes. But none of this matters because John McCain is the person people should be concerned about. She is merely a distraction.
Me: She is pretty distracting. I would say disarming, even. Did Chelsea ever play hockey?
H: Our children are not part of this discussion.
Me: OK. Has she ever been pregnant?
H: Knock it off.
Me: Cindy McCa--
H: Hate her. Who just randomly adopts a kid from an orphanage in a foreign country and doesn't tell her husband? What's with the blinged out USMC and NAVY pins that she wears? Next question.
Me: That's call Pride, something you obviously don't have in your country. Todd never cheated on Sarah. Why do you think that is?
H: He's gay. Hot, but gay.
Me: Do you not want Bill to ever be in the same room as Sarah?
H: I could care less these days.
Me: Yeah....how come she's a better mother than you?
H: That is not true, therefore your question isn't valid.
Me: Please don't use lawyer speak with me. I'm a Real American Woman and I want Straight Talk. This is why we can't beat the Republicans, Hillary. Not enough Straight Talk and too much Liberal Jibber Jabber.
H: That's not why. Senator Obama was right: America is full of a bunch overall-wearing idiots who cling to their guns and religion because they are too stupid or too lazy to actually think for themselves and look beyond the tip of their nose and see the world around them. Republicans win every time because they've managed to frame every issue in a way that makes sense to these types of people. Abortion? For whores. Guns? God wants you to have at least one. Taxes? Bad. Even though they pay for everything from roads and schools to your son's helmet when he went overseas to fight a stupid war that I was stupid enough to authorize....it's just all fucked up.
Me: In a fight between Sarah and Ann Coulter, who would win?
H: Sarah. Ann's a whore tool of the neoconservative media. Sean Hannity jacks off to fantasies about her and Michelle Malkin making out on the set of Hardball. Sarah would rip every single dyed blonde hair out of her head. I would take that bitch out to lunch after she did it, too.
Me: I agree. Sarah would pretty much annihilate her to the point that she would need reconstructive surgery.
H: Look, I would love to chat with you more, but...
Me: ANYtiiiime. Thank you for being honest. This is going to stay just between us. Can I have a hug?
H: God, no.

Experience? What do you call Miss Wasilla?

People seem to have created a new hobby in questioning Sarah's ability to lead. Granted, I don't want her leading anything I'm a part of, but allow me to outline some parallels between beauty pageant winner and Vice President of the United States.

1. You have to dress up. A lot.

2. There is a lot of formal ceremonies and people in sashes to talk to.

3. There will be jealous bitches out to contaminate your make-up.

4. You get to make speeches.

5. Ribbon cuttings and presiding over the Senate are pretty much synonomous.

6. You have to have a platform.

7. You travel with handlers.

8. You have to be "on" all the time.

9. Lots of waving and handshaking and picture taking.

10. Miss Congeniality is a lot like the First Lady (insanely jealous of you, except when SP was Miss Congeniality in the Miss Alaska 1984 competition. In that case, they were really jealous of her and her faith).

11. You have to answer tough questions on the spot and think on your feet.

12. A winner-up is a heartbeat away from the Title.

I could go on and on, but I think I've made my point.

Anne Kilkenny: Big Fat Hater

I don't even want to re-post the filth that Ms. Kilkenny spread about my SP. I do, however, want to take a moment to clarify [bold brackets] some of the crap that has spewed from her undoubtedly un-rouged lips.

CLAIM VS FACT [everything awesome about Sarah vs. reality]

o "Hockey mom": true for a few years [sorry her kids moved on to other things.]
o "PTA mom": true years ago when her first-born was in elementary school, not since [Sarah knows there are better ways to bring about CHANGE than to sit around baking cupcakes and planning school plays all day]
p "NRA supporter": absolutely true [and your problem with this is....?]
o social conservative: mixed. Opposes gay marriage, BUT vetoed a bill that would have denied benefits to employees in same-sex relationships (said she did this because it was unconsitutional). [not only does SP love God, she loves our CONSTITUTION]
o pro-creationism: mixed. Supports it, BUT did nothing as Governor to promote it. [because she doesn't have time to birth children, rear them, beat Todd, kill elk and manage a state AND preach the awesomeness that is Adam and Eve. Gee, Sorry, Anne. What exactly have YOU done lately? Hmm?]
o "Pro-life": mixed. Knowingly gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby BUT declined to call a special legislative session on some pro-life legislation. [probably because she was busy being a real American Woman]
o "Experienced": Some high schools have more students than Wasilla has residents. Many cities have more residents than the state of Alaska. No legislative experience other than City Council. Little hands-on supervisory or managerial experience; needed help of a city administrator to run town of about 5,000. [Being a mom is all the managerial experience that she needs.]
o political maverick: not at all [are you, Anne?]
o gutsy: absolutely! [DAMN RIGHT.]
o open & transparent: ??? Good at keeping secrets. Not good at explaining actions. [SP doesn't have to explain anything if she believes in it hard enough. That is a basic tenant of Christian, Republican values.]
o has a developed philosophy of public policy: no [I think marry it, birth it or shoot it are developed philosophies to me.]
o "a Greenie": no. Turned Wasilla into a wasteland of big box stores and disconnected parking lots. Is pro-drilling off-shore and in ANWR. [I mean, I haven't seen global warming, so exactly, do we know it exists? I think SP is right to question its existence. After all, we have been warned about this so-called "climate emergency" by a man who claimed to have invented the internet. C'mon.]
o fiscal conservative: not by my definition! [I want to see some Quicken documents that back up your assertion.]
o pro-infrastructure: No. Promoted a sports complex and park in a city without a sewage treatment plant or storm drainage system. Built streets to early 20th century standards. [since when was liking buildings and bridges a pre-req for the Veep position? I doubt Cheney likes bridges and what not, but he has done fine in the position.]
o pro-tax relief: Lowered taxes for businesses, increased tax burden on residents. [Um, duh. Tax relief for big biz. Who did you think she was talking about?]
o pro-small government: No. Oversaw greatest expansion of city government in Wasilla's history. [Um, Anne. Knock, knock: you just stated several lines above that some high schools have more students that Wasilla has residents so how is this a problem?]
o pro-labor/pro-union. No. Just because her husband works union doesn't make her pro-labor. I have seen nothing to support any claim that she is pro-labor/pro-union. [she's pro-Todd and that is enough for me. And quite frankly, if the Legion of God's Righteous Army isn't a union, then I don't know what is.]

WHY AM I WRITING THIS? First, I have long believed in the importance of being an informed voter. I am a voter registrar. [not beauty queen, not mom, not christian. not REAL AMERICAN WOMAN] For 10 years I put on student voting programs in the schools. If you google my name (Anne Kilkenny + Alaska), you will find references to my participation in local government, education, and PTA/parent organizations. [way to waste taxpayer time Googling yourself, Anne. SP would never do that.] Secondly, I've always operated in the belief that "Bad things happen when good people stay silent". Few people know as much as I do because few have gone to as many City Council meetings. Third, I am just a housewife. [JUST A HOUSEWIFE? I THOUGH YOU WERE A VOTER REGISTRAR, ANNE? HOUSEWIVES DRIVE THE CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD. under their husband's leadership, of course.] I don't have a job she can bump me out of. I don't belong to any organization that she can hurt. But, I am no fool; she is immensely popular here, and it is likely that this will cost me somehow in the future: that’s life. Fourth, she has hated me since back in 1996, when I was one of the 100 or so people who rallied to support the City Librarian against Sarah's attempt at censorship. [see: more proof that you're just a hater] Fifth, I looked around and realized that everybody else was afraid to say anything because they were somehow vulnerable. [that's not fear. that is pure, unadulterated awe for the omnipresent miracle that is SP.]

Keep the librarian up-do. Give us more ponytails!

SP: the up do is so 1996. The ponytail that you had yesterday (though not pictured here) with the teased crown needs to see the light of day more. It's captures the quintessential virginal, youthful pure whore thing that every real American woman should aspire to.

It's very Barbie redux.